Words of Wine

I thought I was hallucinating this morning as I read my daily newsfeed on the wine business. There, staring at me was the lasciviously cherubic and totally mindless gaze of Ms. Paris Hilton, she of recent allegedly driving drunk and then allegedly "driving on a suspended license after driving drunk" fame. Paris was showing significant cleavage as you can see here (as if anyone in the world hadn't already seen it/them), and the headline read Paris Hilton to be the new face of Bordeaux!

A few readers of Decanter actually fell for this April Fool's ruse, including Richard Pepper of the UK, who was just incredulous about it: "Of all the possible 'celebrities' in the world (and I use the term generously) this has to be the worst possible choice." And one Francois Sportiello took the bait entirely, saying "Surely her rather vulgar looks match perfectly a canned Prosecco launched Downunder, but who needs her doubtful gifts in Bordeaux? The first growths, glorious seconds and assimilated or the struggling producers of lesser known Chateaux?"

Serious stuff worthy of great debate, this Paris Hilton business.

Most of the other readers who emailed comments clearly realized this was a joke of the early April sort, unlike our friends from la belle France and her Majesty's United Kingdom. But the fact that anyone would think this was real - that any Bordeaux winery or consortium would consider using Ms. Hilton's "talents" to hawk their wares - shows how much wine marketing has changed.

And remember, Ms. Hilton, the most famous "It Girl" in the world, already does front "the sophisticated Rich Prosecco in the designer can." Haven't tried it myself, and I'm not likely to unless someone gives me a can this summer on a hot day and there isn't anything else but Diet Coke...and even then the DC will have an equal shot. But hey, with Ms. Hilton (who belongs to the world, after all) and her Rich Prosecco, South Africa's Goats do Roam, Napa's Marilyn Merlot, The Aussie Ball Buster, and my personal favorite, France's Fat Bastard Chardonnay, those first growth Bordeaux look rather tame.

Plus...shouldn't Paris be selling "jug" wines? Oh, behave.